“I saw you in there. People remembered you. They were glad to see you. They were kicking themselves because they missed out. Even back then, people cared more than you realized. I cared, even though I never showed it.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Sometimes the hardest things to say are the things you feel the strongest.”
“I know what you mean. I could never talk about my feelings. All I could do was write them down.”
“Can you ever forgive me for reading your diary?”
“Of course. Besides, if you hadn’t, we wouldn’t be here now.”
“I’m so relieved to hear you say that.” Tessa was expecting to hear the car start up, but there was a pause, a hesitation from her lover that made her nervous. “Before we go anywhere, we should establish a few things.”
“Okay.” Apprehension coiled up in her stomach like a snake. Was this the part where he told her he was married? That this would have to be a one-time thing? A simple fantasy to break up the monotony of his real life?
The silence before he spoke was agonizing. Tessa had plenty of time to imagine all the things he might say to dash her hopes that this night could be the first of many. “First of all, you can take the blindfold off any time you want.” Relief flooded through her. He just wanted to reassure her that he wasn’t a psychotic killer. She already knew that. “You can also leave it on for as long as you want,” he continued. “And if I do anything you don’t like, anything that makes you uncomfortable, tell me right away, and I’ll stop.”
“You don’t have to say all this. I’m not afraid.”
She felt his hand again, touching her hair this time. “Not even a little bit?”
“Not of you. Maybe I’m a little afraid of this... situation. But not the way you think. It can be scary to realize you’re actually getting the thing you always wanted and never thought you could have.”
“I know exactly what you mean.” His hand slipped away and she heard the key turn and the engine start. “I’m taking you to my place. It’s about fifteen minutes from here.” The car pulled out of the parking lot and onto the street. “Would you like some music?”
“Only if you do,” the escort replied. This moment was so magic, it didn’t need anything to enhance it. There was a feeling of breathless anticipation between them. After two turns, Tessa lost her sense of direction and could no longer tell which way they were going. Everything about this was an adventure, something she had longed for all of her life. Her first eighteen years had been sad and lonely. The ten years that followed had been better, but even then, the only real passion and excitement she had known was what she had created in her own mind. Through a happy accident, her lover had gained access to some of those dreams and wanted to bring her secret fantasy to life. She realized how fortunate she was. Almost no one got to live out their fantasies so precisely with the help of this cools Malaysian escort site.
They didn’t talk during the drive to his place, but the silence wasn’t awkward. He drove with one hand, keeping the other one on hers. After a few minutes, the car moved slower, and the turns became more frequent as if they were going through a subdivision. There was a final quick turn and a brief ascent up a steep driveway, the sound of the car shifting into park and being turned off. His door opened and closed, and she heard his footsteps moving around the car before he opened her door. “Careful,” he said, putting a hand on the small of her back. He closed the door behind her and led her along a sidewalk and up a couple of steps to the front porch. A key turned in the lock, and the door opened. “Just one more step up,” he said, leading her through the doorway.
The door closed and they were inside. Suddenly his arms closed around her, pulling her close. Even with the high heels Tessa was wearing, he was a couple of inches taller than her. His breath felt warm against her hair. His lips found hers and she surrendered to the sweetest, most sensual kiss she had ever known. His lips were warm and soft, his tongue gently probing her mouth. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her whole body against him, feeling a need to merge with him physically, emotionally, in every way possible. In one swift movement, he swept her up in his arms, and the next thing she knew, she was being carried up a flight of stairs. One of her shoes fell off. “Don’t worry, Cinderella. I’ll make sure to get it back to you.”
Her other shoe fell off as he put her down, and she felt him reach down to pick it up. “Umm... Can I use the bathroom?”
“Of course.” He guided her about a dozen steps. “The master bathroom adjoins the bedroom. I don’t have photos of myself or prescription bottles with my name on them lying around in there, so it’s safe take the blindfold off.”
“Okay.” She clutched her purse, and slipped inside, closing the door behind her. She took off the blindfold, allowing herself a peak around the bathroom. It was meticulously clean, but the decor was bland and utilitarian. There was no sign whatsoever that a female used this bathroom regularly. No girly shampoo or body wash, no decorative floral print towels, no tell-tale feminine hygiene products lying around. Tessa relieved herself and washed up. She touched up her makeup. She was glad she had spent so many hours finding the perfect outfit, the perfect lingerie. Everything was perfect. He was perfect. She contemplated herself in the mirror. Everyone at the reunion had said she looked pretty. She had never thought of herself as pretty. Not ugly, but not pretty. But tonight she felt pretty, and she knew it was the joy bubbling up inside of her that showed on her face. “You got this, Tessa,” she told her reflection. She took a deep breath, put the blindfold back on, and stepped out of the bathroom, arms outstretched to keep from bumping into furniture.
He caught her hand immediately and led her to the bed. “Sit still for a minute,” he told her. She heard him moving around the room, and then he said, “You can take off the blindfold. The lights are off and the windows are covered with a blackout shade. We’ll both be in the dark, so things might be a little clumsy.” She hesitantly removed the blindfold. The room was pitch black. She reached out in front of her, feeling the bedspread beneath her fingertips, and she felt his hands close over hers. “Can I get you anything? Are you hungry?”
“I remember every one of the fantasies you wrote down. Some of them were a little rough.”
Her breath quickened. “Yeah.”
“Do you want to go there tonight?”
“Yeah. We can go as far as you want.”
He shifted position, getting behind her to unzip her dress and help her out of it. He unhooked her bra and gently pulled it off of her. He helped her shimmy out of her panties. All those hours spent finding the perfect panty and bra set, and he couldn’t even see them. But she didn’t mind. The darkness made her brave. It stripped away every bit of fear and self- consciousness. He fumbled around for something he had stashed under the bed, and then she felt him binding her wrists together with a velvet cord. He then drew her arms up over her head and attached the cord to the headboard. She was bound tightly. There was no way she could free herself, at least not easily. This new element of danger sent a flame of desire straight to her sex, which was already wet with anticipation. A little whimper of need escaped her lips, a sound that didn’t go unnoticed by her lover, this stranger in the dark who wasn’t a stranger at all because he knew exactly what made her tick.
“Do you have any experience with bondage? I know you didn’t back when you were writing about it.”
“This is my first time... being tied up I mean. Not my first time having sex.”
“I love it that I get to be the first man to love you this way.” His voice was velvety like the darkness, like a soft caress. Where, when had she heard that voice before? The mystery tantalized, intrigued like a fragment of a song heard years ago, a song that held a forgotten memory.
He pulled her legs apart, attaching more of that velvety stuff to each ankle and tying the other ends to the bedposts. She was spread eagle now, trembling with anticipation as she waited for the man on the other side of the darkness to make his next move. She could feel him moving around, taking off his own clothes. She squirmed on the bed, longing for his touch, frustrated because he was agonizingly slow in giving it to her. He placed one hand on each of her thighs, just above the knee, the pressure of his touch warming her skin. He slid his hands up a little, not enough, just a few inches, and a cry of need escaped her lips. Her breath was ragged. “Please,” she begged.
“We only get one first time,” he told her. “Let’s make it last as long as we can.”
Oh, he was so cruel to make her wait! Her sex throbbed with desire. His hands were tantalizingly close, working his way up her legs, fingers teasing her outer labia, inches away from her clit that so urgently needed his attention. Unable to bear it any longer, she struggled against the restraints, pushing her hips up off the bed in an effort to get closer to his retreating hands. A sob wracked through her body. “Please,” she said again. Her need was so great that she didn’t care about the desperation that had crept into her voice.
One finger brushed against her clit, a touch so light that it only added to the unbearable frustration. He leaned forward and kissed her abdomen, lips tickling the skin below her navel and above her mound. How much longer would he continue this torture? She needed him so badly. Just when she thought she was going to lose her mind, he ran his tongue up the length of her slit, lapping up her juices. He started flicking her clit, stimulating that sensitive point of need to such a degree that she lost control of her own voice and started shrieking. That seemed to be all the encouragement he needed to intensify his caress. With his fingers, he parted her labia and closed his lips around her clit, sucking at the little nub as she cried out and pulled against the velvet cords. Oh god, it felt so good! It was too much! It wasn’t enough. It was so much more than she had ever imagined, masturbating alone and dreaming of this stranger in the dark who knew her desires and loved her soul, and gave her body more pleasure than she ever thought possible.
She had never had an orgasm that lasted more than a few seconds, but this man brought her to a climax almost instantly and held her there for minute after scorching minute as she shook and moaned and gushed against his mouth. She didn’t even know she was capable of squirting like that. If the lights were on, she would be embarrassed, but in the dark she could let herself go. Anything could happen. He could be anything her dark fantasies could conjure up, and right now, he felt like an angel dragging her up to heaven and holding her there when she didn’t have the wings to get there on her own. When she finally started to come down, everything felt different; her body, her mind, him, the world. He rested his cheek against her belly and reached a hand up to fondle her breast. “How are you doing?” he asked.
“Never better. Literally. Never.” She was still trying to catch her breath, still trying to make sense of this new world she was living in. A world where she could feel such things, a world where fantasies could become real. “Thank you,” she said softly. For a moment she wished her hands were free so she could run her fingers through his hair. But then she changed her mind. She had come so hard because he had tied her up. He had remembered every single detail of her fantasy.
“I should be thanking you,” he said. “We’ve barely gotten started and this is already the best night of my life.” He shifted, propping himself up as he kissed and licked a path from her belly button to the space between her breasts. He continued fondling one nipple with his hand and lowered his mouth around the other one, kissing, sucking, nibbling, creating intense waves of pleasure that traveled up and down her spine, warming up her sex and curling her toes. Tessa had never realized that her nipples could be so sensitive. When Karl had played with her tits, it had been mildly pleasurable, slightly more so than if he had been sucking her elbow. But the man above her may as well have been sucking on her clit.
“Mmmmm,” she moaned. She didn’t realize it was possible to get aroused again so quickly after the first orgasm. He sucked a little harder on her nipple and she arched her back, pressing up against him as much as her restraints would allow. He reached a hand between her legs, rubbing her clit and then slipping a finger into her hungry hole. He massaged her G-spot until she came again, shivering, panting, grinding against his hand. As the euphoria was just beginning to subside, he pulled his finger out of her pussy and gently but firmly pushed it into her ass. “Ohhh!” she cried out in shock. His finger was slippery wet from her pussy and slid inside of her easily. She hadn’t been expecting that. Karl had never touched her there.
“Is this all right?” he asked.
“Yes.” It was so all right. The darkness, the anonymity, the restraints, everything about this encounter made all of her inhibitions fly away. She never would have expected to like what he was doing, but she did. She loved it that he had gone off script and done something she hadn’t written about. She loved it that he could surprise her. He started moving his finger faster, and she writhed on the bed, needing more, wanting more, the restraints at her wrists and ankles preventing her from touching him the way she needed to. She began struggling in earnest, pulling against the velvet ropes that bound her, arching her back and trying fruitlessly to press her sex up against him. He abruptly pulled his finger out of her and moved away.
Tessa panicked. “Don’t leave!” she pleaded.
When he spoke, his voice was closer than she expected. “Do you really think I would do that?”
“I don’t know.”
“I’m getting ready. If I can just find where I put the damn things.” There was a crashing sound as he knocked the bedside lamp onto the floor, and Tessa had to close her eyes so he could put it back in place and turn it on. “Oh, there they are.” She heard the sound of tearing paper and felt him moving on the bed next to her as he put on a condom. He turned off the light and she opened her eyes again. Once again, he was on top of her, hands wrapped around her forearms, pressing her firmly into the bed. “You’re fighting pretty hard. Do you want me to untie you?”
“You’re not scared?”
“I’m nothing but horny right now.”
“Then I’m doing something right.”
“You’re doing everything right.” She could feel the tip of his cock pressing against her warm, wet sex. His mouth claimed hers in a deep and hungry kiss as his cock entered her pussy in a firm thrust that sent shockwaves of pleasure up her spine. His movements started out slow and then picked up speed. He was thick and long. It had been five years since Tessa had made love. She felt tight, but eager and ready. He found just the right balance of roughness and gentleness. His hips would move fast, pounding his cock against her G-spot until she came loudly enough to wake the neighborhood, and then he would slow down, whispering words of affection and spilling kisses down her neck, as her body prepared itself for the next orgasmic peak. She pushed against him and fought the restraints binding her to the bed, but he knew she didn’t want to be free. Her pleasure was so intense that she needed something to push back against. But how had he known that? Even though he had read her diary, he seemed to know too much. It was like he was reading her mind.
His lovemaking was exquisite. The restraints took away the pressure of wondering if she was doing it right, wondering if he liked the things she did. He fucked her with raging intensity as she writhed and struggled beneath him, gasping in shock every time the head of his cock hit her G-spot. She was dripping all over his balls. She couldn’t tell if she was coming repeatedly or if it was just one endless orgasm. She had never been fucked like this before. Just when she was starting to feel overwhelmed, like she couldn’t bear it anymore, he grabbed her by the shoulders and gave a final thrust. His balls contracted, cock pulsing as he groaned out his release. “Oh, my sweet Tessa,” he said, laying his head against her shoulder, as he caught his breath. His body was pressed against the entire length of hers.
When they had both recovered a little, he pulled away just long enough to take off the condom and discard it; then he was right there beside her again. What they had just shared was so intense it brought tears to her eyes. She had spent her whole life putting on a brave face, stuffing down her emotions, trying to hide the fact that she was lonely and longing for the companionship that seemed to come so easily for everyone else. Something broke open inside her and she began to sob.
He quickly moved to untie her and gathered her up in his arms. “Damn it! I was too rough,” he said. “I’m so sorry.”
“No, you were perfect. Just the right amount of rough. This is a good cry.”
“Then I’ll hold you until it passes.” His arms closed around her and she wept quietly, not even sure what hurts she was letting go of. When was the last time someone had held her while she cried? She must have been a baby. In the three years she had dated Karl, he had never once seen her cry. She’d always hid her anxiety and fears from him. She was starting to realize all the ways she had doomed that relationship to failure. She had never let him in. But why was she able to let this man in? For one thing, he was already in because he read her diary. But there was also the darkness. It made her feel safe. Safe enough to cry. Safe enough to let someone hold her.
“I’m sorry,” she said suddenly. “For what?”
“That I didn’t respond to the first note you left me. That day you returned my diary. I was scared.”
“You were worth the wait. More than worth it. Looking back, I think the timing was wrong. I wasn’t mature enough.” He gave a sigh, reminiscing about the raging, intense, almost idolatrous crush he’d had on her ten years ago. When he spoke again, his voice was raw with emotions that were a decade old, but still so very fresh. “That girl you used to be made my dick hard. She got into my head so much I could hardly think about anything else. But the woman you are now fills up my soul. And I think...I think now I have more of a chance.”
“A chance for what?”
“A chance that you’ll still want to be with me when you see my face.”
“Thank you for trying again.”
“I had to.” He kissed the top of her head and hugged her tighter. She could feel his heartbeat against her cheek. “How about a snack?” he asked. “I happen to know a few of your favorite foods.”
She laughed. “You really prepared for this, didn’t you?”
“You made it easy. Unlike most women, you actually came with an instruction manual.” “How do you remember all that? You read it over ten years ago.”
He suddenly went still. “I...I made a copy.”
Tessa gasped and sat up. “A copy? Why? Has anyone else seen it?”
“I promised I wouldn’t show it to anyone and I haven’t. Please forgive me. It was my only connection to you. I blacked out any identifying information, and I kept it in a safe so it wouldn’t fall into anyone else’s hands.”
“Oh.” Tessa laid back down, resting her head on his shoulder. It sounded like he’d been more careful with her diary than she had. But it bothered her a little to realize he had gone back and read it repeatedly over the past ten years.
“If you want I can turn on the light and you can tell me to my face what a bastard you think I am. I’ll open the safe and throw those papers in the fireplace. I’ll take you back to your car, and tomorrow you can file a restraining order.”
“I suppose we could do all that. Or you could just give me that snack you promised.”
“I like that option much better.” The relief in his voice was apparent. “Are you still opposed to alcohol?”
“No. I drink a little now. I used to be afraid I would take after my mother, but I’m not worried about that anymore.”
“You’ve really grown up. Your decisions aren’t quite so reactionary as they used to be. And I’m glad you can have a drink with me. I thought tonight was worthy of champagne.”
“It’s definitely a champagne-worthy night,” said Tessa.
After fumbling in the dark for a couple of minutes, he found her blindfold and put it back in place. She heard the bedside lamp click on and then felt his lips brush against hers. “I’ll be right back.” She heard the sounds of kitchen clatter coming from downstairs, followed by his heavy tread coming back up.
“Are you still a vegetarian?”
“I’m not quite as militant about it as I was in high school. But I don’t eat meat very often.”
“What about strawberries? Are they still your favorite food?”
“That’s one thing about me that hasn’t changed.”
“Well, open up then.”
Tessa opened her mouth and he placed a plump strawberry dipped in a rich cream sauce between her lips. She took a bite and savored the sweet flavors dancing across her tongue. Her other senses were heightened by the fact that she couldn’t see. He made feeding her an act of lovemaking, dipping the strawberries into the cream and placing them in her mouth, fingers lingering between her lips so she could lick the sweet flavors from them. He brought a champagne flute to her lips and allowed her to sip.
“Are you upset with me?” he asked. “For copying your diary?”
“No. It’s just something I need to get used to. I think it’s very sweet that you cared enough to learn everything you could about me. I guess you reading my diary five or six times is no worse than once, and I already knew about that.”
“Not five or six times. Hundreds. I don’t think you realize how hard I fell for you.”
“And thanks to you, I get to live out my crazy, kinky fantasy of sex with a perfect stranger.”
“This was never anything I would have thought of on my own, but your fantasy became mine and stayed with me all these years. For me, tonight is the culmination of years of wishing and dreaming of being with you.” That comment was punctuated by a string of kisses that started on her forehead and went in a circle around her face, covering her cheeks, her chin, her nose, and the thin strip of fabric covering her eyelids.
She reached out and grabbed his forearm as the final kiss landed on her lips. As his lips drifted away from hers, she asked the question that been on her mind ever since he’d gotten back in touch. “Can you tell me how you got my diary without revealing your identity?”
“Yeah, I can tell you that. The graduation ceremony had just ended, and I was headed down the senior hall to get something, when I noticed that all the lockers had been cleaned out.”
“Did they take something important from your locker too?” The concern in her voice revealed the pain she still felt over the ordeal of losing her diary. She’d gotten it back and forgiven him for reading it, but it was still a distressing memory, an anguish she wouldn’t wish on anyone else. She couldn’t see it, but the man in front of her flinched when he saw the echo of the hurt he had caused her so many years ago.
He felt the familiar sting of regret over the way things had played out back then, but he refused to let it spoil the moment. He pulled himself together enough to answer her question. “Uhh...no. They didn’t take anything important. Just some notes I thought I could use. But anyway, the janitor was rolling a trash bin out to the dumpster behind the gym, and I could tell that a lot of books had gotten thrown away. I can’t stand the thought of books being thrown in
the trash. I made him stop so I could retrieve them. I figured I could read the ones I liked and sell or donate the rest. Your diary was among the books I found.”
“Thank you for not selling it.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it. Just reading it was a dick move. I had no right, but I couldn’t resist the chance to know you better. You were always such a mystery to me. So beautiful and tragic, like Ophelia. I suspected your home life was pretty shitty, and your diary confirmed that. Once I understood why you were so sad, and all the coping mechanisms you’d found to make yourself feel better, I couldn’t help loving you even more.”
She laughed. “What was it about my coping mechanisms that made me more interesting?”
“Most people lash out when they’re hurting. You planted a garden. And you created this beautiful night we’re enjoying right now. This came from your mind.”
There was a momentary silence, and Tessa whispered, “Can I touch you?”
She reached out, her tentative fingers brushing against his muscular chest, feeling the light sprinkling of hair. Her fingers explored up to his shoulders and down his strong arms, ending at the tips of his long sensitive fingers, only to land in his lap where they shyly made their way to his cock, which was standing erect and hardened even more when she made contact. She heard his sharp intake of breath when her fingers touched him there. But when she said she wanted to touch him, she meant everywhere. She briefly explored his cock and balls and then made her way up to his face. She felt a strong jaw, clean-shaven chin, straight nose, nice even features. She reached up to his hair, which was straight, parted in the middle, a little too long to be professional, but not long enough to relegate him to working in a tattoo parlor or a pawn shop. She wondered what he did for a living. He had the body of a construction worker, but he spoke like an intellectual.
He took her hand in his and brought it to his lips. “You figured it out yet?”
“What, who you are? No. I don’t even have a list of potential people you might be. I thought I knew who you were earlier tonight at the reunion, but I was wrong.”
“Well don’t think about it too hard. I’m kind of enjoying this kinky little thing we’ve got going on.”
“I noticed that a minute ago when I was fondling your nether regions. Do you want to play some more?”
He let out a low growl and pulled her close. He was very hard. “Do you want to be tied up again? That was a frequent theme in your diary.”
“Actually, right now I just want to suck your cock.” She moved to the edge of the bed and slid down on the floor, kneeling before him. She stroked him with her hand, guiding the head of his dick into her mouth and began sucking, timidly at first, and then with more confidence, milking his cock with her hand and taking as much of him as she could into her mouth.
“Oh Tessa,” he gasped, taking her head in his hands. It had been so long since she’d done this. Her love life had been almost non-existent since Karl moved away. She’d gone out on the occasional date, but everyone pressured her for sex right away, and she hadn’t felt enough of a connection with anyone to give in. Until now. She wondered if he could tell how inexperienced she was. His breathing was harsh and ragged.
As if sensing she was getting nervous, he said, “I love this, baby. I’m not going to last long if you keep that up.” Tessa gave herself permission to give head clumsily, not to worry about whether she was as ‘good’ as the last woman he had been with. His body responded, and she summoned all the skills she had to suck and milk him, determined to give him as much pleasure as he had given her earlier. “Mmmmm,” he said, his hand tightening around her shoulder. “I’m so close, sweetheart.” She opened her throat and tried to take even more of him, ignoring the gagging sensations and the excessive saliva dripping down her chin. She was rewarded a minute later with a mouth full of cum and a satisfied groan from her lover.
She swallowed it all, surprised by the volume. She had actually forgotten what cum tasted like--slightly salty, a little musty, but not at all unpleasant. She was definitely out of practice, but hopefully that would change. She was still kneeling before him and he leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her neck, planting a kiss on the top of her head before he helped her back up on the bed. “Do you need a drink of water?”
“I think I’d like a little more champagne.”
He handed her the champagne flute and she took a sip. “That was the best head I’ve ever had,” he told her. She could tell by his voice that he really meant it, and that was all it took for her to let go of her last bit of insecurity. He took the glass out of her hand when she was finished drinking and she heard him set it on the nightstand. “I need you close to me,” he said, pulling her down on the bed so their bodies were pressed together. “I still can’t believe you’re here.”
“I can’t believe it either. Wherever here is and whoever you are.”
He chuckled and ran his fingers through her hair. “Do you think you could sleep?”
“I’ll try, but I’m afraid I’m going to wake up in my own bed and find out that none of this happened.”
“How about if I hold you really tight, so the first thing you notice when you wake up is being in my arms?
“That sounds perfect.”
He pulled away for a moment and she heard the lamp click off. He pulled the covers up over them. Then he removed the blindfold and she opened her eyes to the darkness. “If you need to get up and use the bathroom or anything, it’s okay to wake me up. I don’t want you to hurt yourself stumbling around in the dark. I don’t want you turning on the light either and seeing the Frankenstein you’re lying in bed with.”
She laughed. “I didn’t feel any bolts in your neck. But I’m not ready to give this up yet either.” They were facing each other in the darkness, foreheads touching. After a brief silence, she said, “You can fuck me bare. I’ve been on the pill since I was sixteen. I used to get cramps pretty bad, and it helped. And I’m healthy. I’ve only ever been with one other person.”
“I’m healthy too,” he told her. “I would never do anything to put you at risk.”
“I know,” she said, suddenly feeling drowsy. “I don’t even know your name, but I know that.” Her last thought as she drifted off to sleep was that she had never felt so safe.