'Twas the night before Christmas...

...

And the last of the bunch

In the office that evening

Queued some Hearthstone at lunch

With the nerfs that had changed

The way standard was styled

He decided to change up

And queued up in Wild

At once he was queued

His Odd Rogue opposed

By a Thrall Even Shaman

Most deadly of foes

Once the mulligan was done

He soon found that he lacked

A one-drop on one

So the odds quickly stacked

The pressure soon mounted

The game had to be saved

So he slammed down a Swashburglar

And ripped Healing Wave

He pointed at face, crossed his fingers and toes

And the minions were seen

His Owl beat Thrall’s Golem

And he healed for fourteen

Despite this respite

Pressure mounted anew

And as both hands ran dry

He knew what he must do

His health was still low

And few minions on the table

But with no other options

He played Myra’s Unstable

He must heal and swing board

He accepted these facts

So he played out a Vilespine

But not before Zilliax

He now had the board

But his health was at six

And with fatigue now at two

Thrall had plenty of tricks

He topdecked for lethal

Found a crackle with glee

Pointed it at face

But he lowrolled a three

So our hero odd rogue

Knew that Thrall did not win it

With one health remaining

Valeera was still in it

He played out some minions

Cleared board best as he could

And then boosted the Zilliax

With a combo’d Cold Blood

His foe could not answer

With much power at all

So our hero now knew

He could defeat Thrall

So he searched for the lethal

To pick up the win

And the game closed with a cry

LEEEEROOOOOOY JENKINS!

---

Context - I wrote this last Christmas as a joke for a friend at work. Everything in the story is true - including dropping to 1 health from a lowrolled Crackle and finding lethal with Leeroy - which is why I was hyped enough to write something this cheesy.

Let this be a lesson to all - no matter how acerbic and waspish someone can act, they're still quite capable of doing something incredibly cringey and making themselves look like a pillock on the internet if it might make someone smile.